What does my future hold?

It's been interesting to see how little by little God has lead me on the path that He wants me to take. As of right now, my plans are to finish my internship, during which I hope to serve in the refugee communities of Pheonix and serve in the Temple. By January 2018 I would have completed my degree and taken my liscenture exam for PTA, after which I plan to save up for the coming year by working on my parents sailboat until they set sail or other opportunities present themselves. If they do end up sailing, I want to go with them and help rebuild in the Caribbean. The rest of the year will be spent doing service projects in the various communities I visit. I may even start a travel blog to help promote ways to enjoy travel while giving back. I hope to one day sail or travel full time doing various projects throughout the world. Who knows? Make a plan and let God change it. He always does, but it's always for the better. If I stay close to the Spirit, do my part and exercise my faith, I know that God will provide the time, means, people, and opportunities that I seek.

Looking back, I realize just how many events and people have been put in my path to influence me. The decision to serve a mission ultimately led to one of the most life changing experiences of my life. Through it my ability to confidently socialize, interact and inquire was magnified and the many service opportunities it provided sparked a desire for lifelong service. I returned with a deeper understanding of what leads to true happiness and an awareness of the overwhelming needs in the world around me. The idea of service oriented travel came up several years back. I've always wanted to do a humanitarian trip but never did due to the costs and overwhelming number of possibilities. The desire to help was magnified following the start of the refugee crisis and subsequent awareness of it given in General Conference. From there, my visit to the the Logan Muslim center sparked a new interest and drive to pursue the issue. In August, our trip to the Keys was met with an unexpected crew member from Idaho who's dreams included sailing the seas full time while doing service in all of the places he stopped. Although we weren't a thing, his dream quickly became my dream. Long before that, while trying to figure out a way to make sailing in the Bahamas and South Pacific more meaningful, the idea to use my PTA skills entered my mind. That was subsequently followed by a class visit from a paraplegic who inspired me to get certified in wheelchair maintenance, fitting, and repairs. These skills paired with the space available on our large sailboat would allow me to travel from island to island helping those in remote areas who didn't have the same access to care as those living on the mainland. Opportunities to serve in my ward plus recent destruction from the several hurricanes have also sparked a greater interest and need. Last night, I finally found an organization called All Hands that turned out to be everything I was looking for. I'm so excited!
As of two months ago, all of my plans revolved around me and how I would get the most out of the coming months. No obligations or commitments, just a lot of time and free travel expenses. I'm glad that God turned my sights on a better road, one that would ultimately lead to a path that will bring the happiness and contentment I seek, but through a better means. God has led me this far and I know that He will continue to do so. He has been my number one cheerleader and coach.

My vision for life: Serve all I can in my single years while I have the free time and spend 2018 traveling and volenteering. I want to be an active participant in the community wherever I'm living, serve in my wards to the best of my ability, and most of all I want to teach my kids how to serve. Family vacations will be focused around giving back to the communities we visit and field trips to Mosques and religious centers will be included in their studies. I want to expose my kids to different cultures, religions, and lifestyles, from the books they read to the movies we watch. I want to spark a heart full of curiosity and love for others. I want them to learn to live outside of themselves, while I strive to do the same. One of the greatest gifts a women can give to humanity is a child that contributes to the world around them, makes the world a better place, and desires to give more than they receive. You wouldn't think that children are sensitive to or even care about things like the environment or humanitarian, but growing up I remember how distinctly movies about Ghandi, Mother Toresa, or even your average Joe trying to make a difference had influenced me. The feelings of longing and hope were deep and lasting, and have since played a major part in who I am today.
Amidst the big plans and desires to help those who I feel need it most, has also come reminders that those right in front of me are my first and foremost priority. My Patriarchal blessing states that the regardless of what else I do, the most important responsibilities will be within the walls of my own home. My brothers and sisters are just as important as anyone and I have been called to serve them before anyone else. I've also come to realize that no matter where I am or who I'm with, whether in the slums of South America or a family gathering, the opportunities to serve are endless. You don't have to look very far before you find someone in need of help and love. Also we have to do is find a need a fill it!
I don't know what the future holds for me, but I do know that God's got my back and will guide me every step of the way.
I pray with all my heart that I find a man that can be my partner in sharing that dream and who has already strived to live his life in the same manner. I was promised that the desires of my heart can be realized as I stay faithful and obedient. That plan is one that will never change, even if everything else does.
I want to note that I din't write any of this as a means to brag or show how "righteous" I feel for what I plan to do or who I want to become. Rather, I've done it as a way of reminding myself of what I desire most and what I want my future to include. I don't want to lose the feelings of hope and excitement I feel or the memories of how I got to this point. This is merely my thoughts put into words that will hopefully be a source of future inspiration and motivation.

Making Plans

“Make a plan and let God change it” A simple line with a complicated application. From an early age, my mother seared it into my stubborn head. Little did I know how well those few simple words would influence my life.

              I’m no stranger to change, in fact I thrive on it. In college I lived in a different apartment every single semester. Every summer break or long weekend was spent hopping from state to state and country to country in search of different scenery. I’ve even ended up in Ecuador on my trip planned for Egypt. I never did get Africa, but I had a heck of a time in South America. However, sometimes even I must admit that change has its dark side too. My dad’s cancer, Hurricane Irma, and two family divorces were never in the picture. All came at a time when I thought I had it all figured out. So, what’s the deal? I got the first part down, didn’t I? And I usually don’t mind the second either. However, when it comes down to it, I’m fine with giving into a change of plans if I can see the immediate benefit, but have a whole lot harder time letting go of the ones I still want.

So why does God have a way of “messing everything up”? Heck, if it’s a good plan shouldn’t God go along with it? I’m doing what’s right, setting goals, and working hard. So why doesn’t He just let me be? Turns out, God cares a lot more about who we become than our own agenda. We were not meant to come and return the same. In fact, He has plans for each of us that at this point we can’t even fathom. Our perspective is limited, and our vision minuscule, but that Father of ours, well thank goodness He doesn’t have the same problem as we do. There is something to be said about having enough faith to go to the Lord to say, “THY will be done.” and actually believing it enough to not only follow through with it, but support it. In my mind, I feel like it’s giving God permission to give me a trial, or some other thing that I don’t feel quite up to. I’ll say it in my prayers alright, but I don’t always completely mean it. That’s why I’m grateful for the Savior. His relationship with the Lord was such that if God asked him to do it, he did it…no questions asked. And not only obediently, but willingly and with complete trust. There is a line in my Patriarchal blessing that talks about how if I lay my life on the altar of the Lord, He will take it and make me into the person I was meant to become. Only recently have I started to understand the significance of that statement. I like to think of Abraham in the Old Testament. He was asked to Sacrifice Isaac, who at that point had already been a God sent miracle. If he gave him up, what would he have left and how would any of the promises made to him be fulfilled? None the less, he did it. He did it because he trusted God more than his own understanding. He did it because He loved God more than anything this mortal world had to offer. I don’t think the moments before killing his son were filled with joy and excitement for what the future had to offer, but I do know that they were moments of faith.  Just as important, is the end of the story. Isaac lived and every blessing promised to Abraham and his posterity was fulfilled. Whatever we are asked, or forced, to give up will be rewarded with something better. If not in this life than the next.

 Each of us will go through our own Abraham-like experiences. I can almost guarantee that we will not be asked to sacrifice a child, but I guarantee that we will be asked to sacrifice our time, our money, our efforts and to some degree or another, our whole hearts. In the temple, I made a promise to do just that. Only time will tell if my prayers, heart, and actions will show it. 

The need for true understanding of this principle has never taken as much precedence in my life as it does now. So many of my previous plans for the coming year were were changed the moment Hurricane Irma made landfall in the British Virgin Islands. Maria finished the job days later. Three weeks ago, our plan was fool proof, solid, and just about as good as you could get. Now? Well I'm afraid there's not much left of them.

           So what's next? Well, I'm going to make a plan. Is it going to change? Yes, yes it is.